Putting Family First Has Been Good
For Business - and Life
One way to overcome the stress of balancing family and business is to combine them. Real estate is a family affair for Dallas super agent Mary Harker. Her Five Star Team consists of husband Joe, daughter Gwen Harker Poole, and sons Joseph and Dan. Together with outstanding support staff, they have a business that perennially ranks at or near the top in metropolitan Dallas residential sales.
Many Realtors struggle to keep focused on their families while building their careers. Mary Harker, CRS, has found a way to keep her family always in sight: She has built them into her career. Harker works as a team with her two sons, Joseph and Dan, daughter Gwen Harker Poole and husband Joe in their Dallas-based Keller Williams Realty office. "I like to say we are a family helping families," she says.
Working together can strengthen the bonds between husband, wife and children, Harker says, but real estate professionals considering the move should take an honest look at their family structure and live by a few cast-in-stone rules.
First, Realtors should ask themselves if they truly want to work with their families and cope with them in a variety of business situations. "As much as we love our families, some people do better when they have time away from them," she says. "Also, if they don’t want to work hard, they shouldn’t be with you."
Next, make sure personalities complement each other. Each Harker family member has taken the DISC personality test to get a better handle on how he or she ticks. Mary’s husband Joe, for example, scored a high "D," a dominating personality, task-oriented and detail-minded. Mary, on the other hand, rated an "I," or inspirational, more comfortable with quick thinkers and brainstorming. This delineation helps determine who should handle particular types of clients, and how to divide administrative and sales work.
To keep family businesses focused on the positive, Mary also says you must evaluate how your extended family will handle real estate’s time demands. The Harker family became accustomed to nontraditional schedules during husband Joe’s first career as a pilot for Braniff Air Lines, but some may prefer a more orderly, "9 to 5" life. Mary has tried to include "nonpracticing" family members by seeking their advice to help clients. A daughter-in-law who works in health care might refer clients to area physicians, for example. Family relationships must also change during work hours to keep both business and personal dynamics agreeable.
"You must try to set aside family relationships and create a business relationship, but it doesn’t always work that way," she says, noting that her sons and daughter will almost always call her "Mom." On the other hand, Mary laments the aftermath of speaking about family businesses at a recent convention: "I couldn’t believe the sadness I saw in the eyes of so many adult kids who say, 'Mom still treats me like a child.'" To prevent this, Mary advises waiting until children have years of work experience in another field before bringing them into the business.
While flexibility is a must, the Harker 5-Star Team tries to adhere to set hours, Mary says, to separate the family relationship from the family business. "Sundays are sacred," she says, "and we schedule lots of vacation time." The Harker family also subscribes to the "work hard, play hard" credo to keep ties strong in a hectic business environment. They have traveled to Europe for six years straight, which Harker also uses as a work incentive for bringing in leads.
Relatives working together must also try to compartmentalize to keep focused on their business and their family during appropriate times, Harker adds. "If I’m with customers I don’t think of anything else; if I’m with my kids I don’t think of anything else. When you get together on social occasions you cannot be consumed by real estate."
And when the inevitable conflicts between family members occur, Harker advises approaching them with the end result in mind. "You have to ask if this issue is worth a rift in your relationship."
Finally, Harker adds, when considering a family business, seek advice from the experts: Talk to others with family firms and discuss financial issues with a planner who specializes in family-run operations.
"If I had to do it over again I would set things up different financially, but other than that, any time I could work with my family I would. Nobody is as loyal to you or cares about you as much as you do for each other."
Margaret Ahrweiler
As Featured in Real Estate Profiles